This morning I woke up with a bad case of homesickness. I desperately wanted to call my family and friends and say, "I'm homesick. Let's go to breakfast or meet up later for dinner." I wanted it to be easy, to just be myself with people who love me.
But right now it's not that easy. See I'm the new kid. Each interaction I have with people in Prague feels pressured. I feel as though I have to be my best self each and every time.
A million questions and judgements flurry through my mind while I'm with others.
"Do they like me?"
"Why did I tell that story? I should have shared this one instead."
"Be open-minded. Take the time to listen."
"Why are you worrying about this when there are people with such 'bigger' things going on in their lives?"
And while all of this scurries across my conscious, another part of my mind desperately shouts, "Stop this. Just be you! They'll like you."
This stage of feeling awkward and the wash of blue feelings will pass. What I need to do until it does is keep accepting the invitations here and just enjoy getting to know others. I need to reconnect with faraway friends and family to strengthen my sense of self. And lastly treat myself with kindness. That all sounds good but maybe for today, I just need to watch another episode of "Orange is the New Black," and go to bed early. Those are things I think I can do.
Megan, I'm so glad we became friends while we were the new kids on the block in Brazil. Your new community is so lucky to have a joy like you living among them!
ReplyDeleteVanessa, me too! Definitely thankful for you and Mark and our time in BSB. Bonding over a love of Gray's Anatomy, exploring vegetable markets and ciada sounds. Thanks for the love. Hope you and Mark are doing well! Miss you guys.
DeleteJust so you know, I miss you terribly at ASB. There's no wonderful, warm, accepting Megan. There is no style diva Megan. There is no 'can i help with assessments coz I know you are struggling to keep afloat' Megan. There is no 'you will be fine gurl' Megan.
ReplyDeleteThese people at Prague will soon realise how lucky and blessed they are to have you. Just simply be you...because you are more than awesome as you are.
Oh Priyanka. How I wish I could walk into your room and give you a HUGE hug. I miss our laughs. I miss the time with you and your kids. I especially miss your big smile. Man, I just miss you! Thanks for the love friend.
DeleteAwwwww! Ms.Megan......Chilllllllll....don't be so hard on yourself. You know you will shine out anyways dear, Kyu ki acche logo ke saath, hamesha accha hi hota hai! <3 now if you are wondering what this line means, its a very famous Bollywood dialogue from Shah Rukh's movie. Your trivia is to liven your mood, is to find out what this lovely line means. And when you have found the meaning, I know it will bring a smile on your beautiful face! Don't Worry, Be Happy :-)
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