Yesterday when I arrived home from school, as I do each day, I changed out of my teacher clothes into sweats. I slide my toes into my cozy moccasin slippers and walked into my living room. As soon as I sat on the couch, I heard a loud "thud." Something had fallen onto the floor. Since the handyman had hung artwork the previous day, I assumed it must have been on the walls. I scanned them first. Nothing.
I stood up and realized one of my funky side table legs was on the floor. It had fallen off. I love this side table and its quirkiness. I love the carpenter who designed it because he saw tree branches and their uniqueness and incorporated those into his art. These little nuances can make the table a little temperamental and vulnerable at times (aka, the legs have been known to fall off) but I love it a little more for those traits.
Despite the table's vulnerabilities, this table is strong. After loosing a leg, my table still stood supporting a heavy copper lamp, votive holder and even my half full glass of water. Not even slight wobble but obviously in need a little tlc.
As I sat on the floor to reattach the fourth leg, I realized that the table was a metaphor for me. I was my quirky 3-legged side table. I could still support lots of weight. I could still function but I needed some tlc too.
Over the weekend, I unfortunately was in a bus accident. A pedestrian ran out in front of the bus I was riding. The bus driver slammed on the brakes to avoid them. This caused me and other passengers to be thrown from our seats. Thankfully my injuries are contusions. Thankfully I was with friends on the bus and they went along with me to the hospital. Thankfully they are also okay. I have contusions on my head, face and shoulder. I have typical aches and pains and bruises all over my body from being in an accident. Exhaustion from a late hospital night and from my body trying to heal.
Saturday I stayed home, rested and slept. Sunday I also took it easy. One brief lunch outting to test my strength, some massive lesson planning and assisting the handyman. That wasn't too much. I was okay or so I told myself that I was.
Yesterday when I woke up, I was more exhausted than I'd been Sunday evening. I figured I'd pushed myself too hard on Sunday. Despite a tiny voice in the back of my head saying, "Are you sure you should go?" I went to school. I thought I was strong enough and being back into the normal routines would be just what I needed. Shortly after I arrived, I realized I'd made the wrong decision. The advice from family and friends both near and far, was right. I was going too fast. I was still standing, just like my table; trying to awkwardly balance, shouldering too much weight, pretending everything was fine.
After the accident, new friends and colleagues here in Prague reached out to support me here. Phone calls, visits, text messages. All with offers of help. How many did I accept? None. I said no to everyone. I said that I was okay and didn't need anything which I thought was true. I had food. I was resting. I was taking Ibuprofen. What else did I need? When I wasn't in the comfort of my home though, that's when I realized I should come home to get some more rest. I also realized I needed to accept the offers of help. Maybe the accident was impacting me more than I thought? Maybe I needed a little tlc? The table could stand on 3 legs and I could stand after the accident, but why should I struggle alone?
I'm learning that I have a need to appear independent. That I think it's weak to ask for help in my life outside of school unless it's for things like restaurant recommendations or where to buy ice cube trays. I need to be the tough girl. Especially when I'm a new member of a community.
What this accident has taught me is that it's not just okay, but it's good to be vulnerable. People want to help. It's okay to show your weaknesses to others because we all have them.
It's good to ask for help when it's offered; be it soup or company or a laugh, because even if you think you didn't need it, you probably do.
I need to be more open to ask and receive help. I need to accept the tlc just like my little quirky table does when one of its leg falls off. It's okay not be the tough girl because what you receive from others will make you stronger than you could have ever been without. It also sometimes involves amazing arnica cream, flowers and chocolate too.
I stood up and realized one of my funky side table legs was on the floor. It had fallen off. I love this side table and its quirkiness. I love the carpenter who designed it because he saw tree branches and their uniqueness and incorporated those into his art. These little nuances can make the table a little temperamental and vulnerable at times (aka, the legs have been known to fall off) but I love it a little more for those traits.
 |
| Post repair. This time the right front leg (closest to the camera position )fell off. |
Despite the table's vulnerabilities, this table is strong. After loosing a leg, my table still stood supporting a heavy copper lamp, votive holder and even my half full glass of water. Not even slight wobble but obviously in need a little tlc.
As I sat on the floor to reattach the fourth leg, I realized that the table was a metaphor for me. I was my quirky 3-legged side table. I could still support lots of weight. I could still function but I needed some tlc too.
 |
| Each leg has a specific way it fits into the top. If they weren't so tricky, I'd flip the table over for a better view but today that seems like a little too much work. |
Over the weekend, I unfortunately was in a bus accident. A pedestrian ran out in front of the bus I was riding. The bus driver slammed on the brakes to avoid them. This caused me and other passengers to be thrown from our seats. Thankfully my injuries are contusions. Thankfully I was with friends on the bus and they went along with me to the hospital. Thankfully they are also okay. I have contusions on my head, face and shoulder. I have typical aches and pains and bruises all over my body from being in an accident. Exhaustion from a late hospital night and from my body trying to heal.
Saturday I stayed home, rested and slept. Sunday I also took it easy. One brief lunch outting to test my strength, some massive lesson planning and assisting the handyman. That wasn't too much. I was okay or so I told myself that I was.
Yesterday when I woke up, I was more exhausted than I'd been Sunday evening. I figured I'd pushed myself too hard on Sunday. Despite a tiny voice in the back of my head saying, "Are you sure you should go?" I went to school. I thought I was strong enough and being back into the normal routines would be just what I needed. Shortly after I arrived, I realized I'd made the wrong decision. The advice from family and friends both near and far, was right. I was going too fast. I was still standing, just like my table; trying to awkwardly balance, shouldering too much weight, pretending everything was fine.
After the accident, new friends and colleagues here in Prague reached out to support me here. Phone calls, visits, text messages. All with offers of help. How many did I accept? None. I said no to everyone. I said that I was okay and didn't need anything which I thought was true. I had food. I was resting. I was taking Ibuprofen. What else did I need? When I wasn't in the comfort of my home though, that's when I realized I should come home to get some more rest. I also realized I needed to accept the offers of help. Maybe the accident was impacting me more than I thought? Maybe I needed a little tlc? The table could stand on 3 legs and I could stand after the accident, but why should I struggle alone?
I'm learning that I have a need to appear independent. That I think it's weak to ask for help in my life outside of school unless it's for things like restaurant recommendations or where to buy ice cube trays. I need to be the tough girl. Especially when I'm a new member of a community.
What this accident has taught me is that it's not just okay, but it's good to be vulnerable. People want to help. It's okay to show your weaknesses to others because we all have them.
It's good to ask for help when it's offered; be it soup or company or a laugh, because even if you think you didn't need it, you probably do.
I need to be more open to ask and receive help. I need to accept the tlc just like my little quirky table does when one of its leg falls off. It's okay not be the tough girl because what you receive from others will make you stronger than you could have ever been without. It also sometimes involves amazing arnica cream, flowers and chocolate too.
 |
| Flowers and great company from a friend. |